Syfy’s “Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf” trailer stole three minutes of my life

A. Quinton — Jul. 9th 2015

If you can’t guess what “whalewolf” means, try saying “werewolf” with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth. There, you just pronounced the name of a human/wolf/orca hybrid, which is more fun than you’re likely to have watching this movie.

I’m sorry I watched the trailer. Any boneheaded glee I might have felt at the silly premise was obliterated by the cheap jokes and thrift store production values. GeekTyrant’s Ben Pearson has it right – Syfy thinks you’re an idiot.

Maybe if no one watches this crap, Syfy will actually start giving a crap again. I’m not saying that these kinds of films will ever be seen as conventionally “good” movies, but I think they’ve hit the bottom of the barrel here and hopefully there’s nowhere left to go but up.

The only glimmer of amusement I can find in all this low-budget, low-IQ murk is the fact that some 3D artist got paid to model, texture and rig a creature called “Whalewolf”.

Update: as pointed out by Ludovic and Lew on Twitter, Whalewolf was designed by industrial design student Alice B., whose DeviantART gallery has some cool concept art of the creature. This reinforces something I’ve been learning over the years: even the cruddiest films (and games, comics, etc.) contain many hours of hard work by passionate and talented people.

If you want to watch this, go ahead, I guess. Find it on Syfy Sunday July 19th at 9 p.m. EST.

  • Drockan Firestorm

    I want two an a half minutes of my life back.