The Mystery of “The Howling Reborn” and the Boring Plot Synopsis

Buried three pages deep in the Moonstone Entertainment web site is this synopsis of “The Howling Reborn”, the upcoming remake of “The Howling”:

On the eve of his high school graduation, unremarkable Will Kidman finally bonds with the girl he has long yearned for, reclusive Eliana Wynter. But he also discovers a dark secret from his past… that he is about to become a werewolf. Now, in an effort to fight destiny and save their love as well as their lives, they must battle not only Will’s growing blood lust but an army of fearsome beasts bent on killing them… and then, us all.

Is it just me or does this have nothing at all in common with the original film? Is this just an attempt to piggyback a new (and dull-sounding) werewolf movie on the name recognition of the Howling series?

Jul. 21st 2010

This is a real book: Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland

Yesterday I saw a tweet by David Malki expressing surprise over the existence of a codified literary genre called “Bizarro Fiction”. That lead me to a Guardian article on the subject which, while interesting in its own right, was immediately relegated to an inactive browser tab when I saw these words: “Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland”. That’s the title of a book by Carlton Mellick III, whose body of work (the most NSFW Amazon search result page ever) makes it abundantly clear that he’s one of the genre’s most prodigious authors. Despite my love of werewolf horror and all the spilled entrails that comes with it, I am a gentle man of delicate sensibilities, so there’s not a single title in that list that I would purposely read… other than Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland. That book is now required reading despite (or because of?) its astoundingly, deliberately trashy premise and pedigree. Dig on this synopsis from Amazon:

They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland.

A century after the fall of civilization, only one city remains standing. It is a self-contained utopian society protected by a three-hundred-foot-high steel wall. The citizens of this city live safe, peaceful lives, completely ignorant to the savagery that takes place beyond the walls. They are content and happy, blindly following the rules of the fascist fast food corporation that acts as their government. But when Daniel Togg, a four-armed bootlegger from the dark side of town, is cast out of the walled city, he soon learns why the state of the outside world has been kept secret. The wasteland is a chaotic battleground filled with giant wolves, mutant men, and an army of furry biker women who are slowly transforming into animals. Trapped on the wrong side of a war zone, Daniel Togg makes new friends and new enemies, while uncovering the mysteries of the people living in the wasteland and how they came to be there.

Sold. Did I mention it’s illustrated? It’s illustrated. I will read this book, and I will report back here with my findings. For werewolves. For science. Wish me luck!

Jul. 20th 2010

“House of the Wolf Man” DVD pre-order on Amazon – old school moves!

Around this time last year, I was telling you about “House of the Wolf Man”, the “good old fashioned monster movie” that was shot in 2009 but purposely looks like it spent the last 65 years sitting in a Universal film vault. It stars Ron Chaney (the grandson of the original Wolf Man, Lon Chaney, Jr) and is an independent effort to complete the Universal horror “House Of” triptych, which officially only covered Frankenstein and Dracula. by Now I’m telling you about it again, because the DVD is available for pre-order on Amazon. It costs $17.99 US and ships September 28, 2010. This is great news for people who didn’t get a chance to see it at SDCC last year. That is to say, people like me.

Jul. 19th 2010

Book Review: “The Werewolf’s Guide To Life” by Ritch Duncan & Bob Powers

The Werewolf’s Guide to Life belongs right next to the Bible in every werewolf’s (or werewolf’s spouse’s) nightstand. Its subtitle “A Manual for the Newly Bitten” accurately represents what lies between its covers: not a tepid modernization of werewolf myths peppered with pseudo-scientific explanations, but rather a no-nonsense (yet oddly humorous) instructional guide for newly-initiated werewolves.

At 236 illustrated pages, it’s clear that authors Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers were thinking hard about the daily challenges of being a werewolf long before the publishing world hitched its wagon to the recent monster fad. The book begins with a stark command instructing those who have just been bitten to skip ahead to the chapters that are most immediately relevant to their situation: namely, those that identify the signs of an impending transformation and how to avoid killing others (or being killed yourself) during your first Moon.

Most of the book adheres to this thoughtful textbook-like structure. It’s organized into three parts comprised of chapters that build on previously-discussed topics, but the text and sidebars encourage a lot of skipping ahead to areas where a topic of particular interest (or immediate relevance) is covered in greater detail. If you’re reading about the supplies you’ll need to have available in your enclosure during a Moon, you’ll learn you’d better have “lots of raw, red meat” available to slake your wolf-self’s hunger. But wait, the conscientious werewolf-to-be might wonder, how much meat is enough? You can take the potentially fatal guesswork out of the equation by skipping ahead to Chapter 11 (“Diet and Livestock”), which contains an elaborate table describing a point system for finding the right balance of live meat, dead meat and vegetable-based filler to keep you satisfied during your bestial evenings.

(more…)

Jul. 18th 2010

Kylie Minogue is in “Jack and Diane” and the tabloids want you to know she looks scruffy

Judging by the excitement in my inbox this is important enough to mention, although I feel like I’m succumbing to peer pressure. Musician Kylie Minogue has what sounds like a minor role in everybody’s favourite werewolf lesbian romance movie, Jack and Diane. People who care how pop stars look were apparently very upset at her appearance in a series of off-set photos, but then were relieved (and titillated) when it was revealed that she was just “in costume” for her role as a lady who likes other ladies. I was going to include one of those photos with this post, but then I remembered this site isn’t TMZ or Perez Hilton. Wanna know what she looks like? Just do a Google image search for her, then imagine she has some fake tattoos on her arms and hasn’t washed her hair in three days.

Jul. 17th 2010

Want to see an angry dwarf stab a pot-bellied werewolf in the eye with a silver spoon?

Then you need to read the first issue of Image’s new comic Skullkickers when it comes out in September. Writer Jim Zubkavich and artist Edwin Huang have teamed up to create a fantasy-comedy comic series that sounds like it’s inspired by a lot of excellent sources. From the official site’s “About” page:

Two mercenaries are entangled in a high-class assassination plot and nothing — not werewolves, skeletons or black magic — will stop them from getting paid. If you love tabletop fantasy RPGs, buddy stories involving a big guy and a dwarf, or movies like ARMY OF DARKNESS, SKULLKICKERS is the book for you!

The premise sounds fun in a hack & slash “where’s the Mountain Dew?” sort of way, but the preview pages (see below) got my undivided attention. Look at that werewolf’s gut! What’s he got in there, Grandma?


Check out skullkickers.com for more details, including a handy form you can take to your local comic shop to reserve a copy. If you want more, here’s a nice little Newsarama interview with Jim Zubkavich. SPLORK!

Jul. 16th 2010

Fuzzy Camera – Werewolf Images Digest 1

I used to have a feature here called Weekly Werewolf Art. I haven’t done it in a long time, and even when it was running, the schedule was irregular. I wanted to showcase werewolf art that I thought was interesting, evocative, funny or just plain cool, but it was harder than I thought to single out just one image a week, and more work than I expected to write enough about the selected image to warrant a whole post on the site. But there’s a lot of great werewolf art out there, and rather than just going “right-click, save” into a folder I never look at again, I want to share it with other werewolf fans. The solution: just like I started Werewolf News as a place to post links to werewolf stuff that I like, I’ve started a little Tumblr site for cool werewolf pictures I find. It’s called Fuzzy Camera. You can bookmark / subscribe to it directly, but if you don’t feel like adding another site to the already-huge list of places you go online, don’t worry. Every now and then I’ll post a thumbnail digest of recent Fuzzy Camera finds right here on Werewolf News.

Just like this! Yes, there are some repeats from Weekly Werewolf News, but I wanted to get my favourites all into one place.

Fuzzy Camera / fuzzycamera.tumblr.com

Jul. 16th 2010

Macabri Werewolf Photo Shoot

Through the magic of Facebook, I came across these great photos of Werewolf News reader / contributor / friend  Macabri. She was kind enough to let me post them here, and she had this to say about the shoot:

What I can tell you is that is was for a horror-themed group shoot that happened last year in San Diego. Each model was asked to dress up as some sort of monster, but since the coordinator already knew me, she asked me to be their werewolf. The makeup artist (Chrissy Lynn) is really good with blending sexy and scary and did the makeup from scratch that day with little to no planning. She always blows me away.

Great makeup, great photos, great concept! This looks like it was a lot of fun– I wonder if stuff like this happens in Vancouver? Thanks for sharing, Macabri!


Makeup & Hair
Chrissy Lynn
Photography
1,2 – Fournier Film
3 – Dale Porter
4,5,6 – Jayde Wofford

Jul. 16th 2010

Werewolf short story contest on deviantART

Hey writers! There’s a writing contest being held at the deviantART group Werewolves At Heart. Submit an original 1,500 – 3,500 word short story about werewolves by Saturday, August 7th, using this prompt as inspiration:

You wake up shackled to a chair and can’t remember how you got there. Two voices are talking. You recognize one of them.

For more details, including a list of prizes (hint: art), visit the dA news article.

Jul. 16th 2010

The Futon Critic’s first look at MTV’s “Teen Wolf” re-imagining

TV review site The Futon Critic has got a very thorough review of the pilot of MTV’s “Teen Wolf” series. It begins with a very polite request not to repost any of the text anywhere, which I would normally be disinclined to honour since this is the Internet, but I’m trying to be better about that, so I recommend you go check it out for yourself. My take on the pilot, based on what I read? I was hopeful until I saw this:

I’m less sold on the show’s (albeit unfinished) special effects, which make its werewolves look like the vampires from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

Oops! Guess I fell off that wagon pretty quickly!

Jul. 15th 2010