After a year of being cooped up, everyone with an Etsy shop has gone bonkers. These 10 items, all discovered and sent to me by my wife Tandye, explore a broad range of Etsy’s increasingly wild “werewolf zone”.
Werewolf RPG Miniature from Creature Armory
This is a 3D render of a tabletop RPG miniature that you can have “printed in high quality resin” in a variety of sizes. I’m not usually big on the flesh-ripping style of werewolf transformation, but this is cool.
The Wolf Pack werewolf & hellhound history paper goods collection
A gift-wrapped collection of historical werewolf ephemera. If you’re going to repurpose royalty-free text and images from the past, this is how you do it!
Three Wolfman Moon art print
2008’s finest meme, recapitulated lycanthropically. Artist Kyle Morton has rendered two classic werewolves and added his own (superior?) interpretation, which you can have for yourself as a 10×15″ print.
Monster print oven mitts
There’s only one werewolf in the pattern of these monster oven mitts, but he’s being taken for a walk by a little witch girl. You can’t argue with that. Don’t even try.
Werewolf Playing Cards
Writes the artist: “I spent my time in quarantine developing my very own set of playing cards. The Kings are Werewolves, the Queens are Vampires, the Jacks are Villagers.” Enough said!
Tabletop Shadow Puppet Theatre
This portable multi-piece shadow puppet theatre has 17 characters and a dozen backgrounds – enough to re-enact many of the classic fairytales. If you brought this into my house, many of those stories would receive shocking re-interpretations that involve the Wolf having dinner.
Horror High! Werewolf Linocut Print
“A hand-printed 13x13cm linocut of a chill stoner werewolf” is my activation phrase, and what happens when I get activated? I smoke a lot of weed and play Scott Pilgrim on my Switch until I fall asleep. I think this werewolf would do the same.
Anatomically correct werewolf figurine
I want to say right at the top: this is a very cool hand-made 31cm-tall posable werewolf figurine. Great fur, cool face, and I even like the big fluffy tail, which is unusual for me. But it is billed as “anatomically correct”, which means it does have a penis. I don’t know why you would include that level of accuracy in a figurine while only putting four fingers on each of its hands, but here we are. And there it is.
Oleana the Werewolf Queen
This is another 3D-printed werewolf miniature, but unlike the one at the top of this list, she’s calm and composed. According to her description, if you fuck with her friends, she won’t stop until you’re dead. I respect all of this, even if I do think a werewolf holding a weapon is like wearing two hats at once.
Werewolf Nerd Gold Enamel Pin
Last but certainly not least, here is a 4cm x 4cm hard enamel lapel pin that appears to have my face on it. It’s not actually me, but as an aspirational werewolf with perpetually worried eyebrows and nerdy frames, I feel well-represented. Of all the werewolf objets d’art in this post, this is the only one to currently reside in my Etsy shopping cart, and I am going to wrap up this post so I can go finish the purchase.