The Trustworthiness of Beards, as Assessed & Charted by Matt McInerney

Tuesday, July 27 2010 – 4:35 PM
Posted by Andrew

I’ve been super busy today, but I wanted to share this delightful chart with you. Have you ever wondered if you could gauge the general trustworthiness of a person, based on the beard they’re sporting? Graphic designer Matt McInerney says you can, and he has a chart to prove it. He claims there’s no scientific basis to his observations, but other than grossly exaggerating the threat of werewolves, I think he seems to be spot-on. The Philosopher? Good. The Neckbeard? Watch yourself.

Click for the full thing at a (much) larger resolution.


This is a real book: Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland

Tuesday, July 20 2010 – 5:12 PM
Posted by Andrew

Yesterday I saw a tweet by David Malki expressing surprise over the existence of a codified literary genre called “Bizarro Fiction”. That lead me to a Guardian article on the subject which, while interesting in its own right, was immediately relegated to an inactive browser tab when I saw these words: “Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland”. That’s the title of a book by Carlton Mellick III, whose body of work (the most NSFW Amazon search result page ever) makes it abundantly clear that he’s one of the genre’s most prodigious authors. Despite my love of werewolf horror and all the spilled entrails that comes with it, I am a gentle man of delicate sensibilities, so there’s not a single title in that list that I would purposely read… other than Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland. That book is now required reading despite (or because of?) its astoundingly, deliberately trashy premise and pedigree. Dig on this synopsis from Amazon:

They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland.

A century after the fall of civilization, only one city remains standing. It is a self-contained utopian society protected by a three-hundred-foot-high steel wall. The citizens of this city live safe, peaceful lives, completely ignorant to the savagery that takes place beyond the walls. They are content and happy, blindly following the rules of the fascist fast food corporation that acts as their government. But when Daniel Togg, a four-armed bootlegger from the dark side of town, is cast out of the walled city, he soon learns why the state of the outside world has been kept secret. The wasteland is a chaotic battleground filled with giant wolves, mutant men, and an army of furry biker women who are slowly transforming into animals. Trapped on the wrong side of a war zone, Daniel Togg makes new friends and new enemies, while uncovering the mysteries of the people living in the wasteland and how they came to be there.

Sold. Did I mention it’s illustrated? It’s illustrated. I will read this book, and I will report back here with my findings. For werewolves. For science. Wish me luck!


Kylie Minogue is in “Jack and Diane” and the tabloids want you to know she looks scruffy

Saturday, July 17 2010 – 9:36 AM
Posted by Andrew

Judging by the excitement in my inbox this is important enough to mention, although I feel like I’m succumbing to peer pressure. Musician Kylie Minogue has what sounds like a minor role in everybody’s favourite werewolf lesbian romance movie, Jack and Diane. People who care how pop stars look were apparently very upset at her appearance in a series of off-set photos, but then were relieved (and titillated) when it was revealed that she was just “in costume” for her role as a lady who likes other ladies. I was going to include one of those photos with this post, but then I remembered this site isn’t TMZ or Perez Hilton. Wanna know what she looks like? Just do a Google image search for her, then imagine she has some fake tattoos on her arms and hasn’t washed her hair in three days.


Clothe Your Frail Human Body with Werewolf T-Shirts Designed by Matthew Skiff

Friday, July 9 2010 – 11:02 PM
Posted by Andrew

I’m working on a little side project that requires me to dog through all of the werewolf art I’ve posted on this site over the years, and I came across this post about a kick-ass t-shirt design by Matthew Skiff. I decided to check out what he’s been up to lately, and lo and behold, more werewolf designs! The first three are still available for purchase from their various imprints– just click an image below to get the pertinent details. I want that first one, “Save Me”. I want it.

(this one’s not for sale, sadly)


“She-Wolf” Conference at the University of Manchester UK, Sept. 9-10

Wednesday, June 9 2010 – 4:27 PM
Posted by Andrew

I was recently contacted by Dr. Hannah Priest, who would like to spread the word about a werewolf-related conference happening in the UK this September. I’ll get out of the way and let Dr. Priest explain:

The conference is entitled She-Wolf: Female Werewolves, Shapeshifters and Other Horrors in Art, Literature and Culture (but She-Wolf for short). It’s on Thursday 9th – Friday 10th September 2010, at the University of Manchester, UK.

The conference is being run by myself, Dr. Hannah Priest (University of Manchester), and a final year PhD student, Carys Crossen. I recently completed a PhD on monstrous characters in medieval romance, and Carys is working on her thesis on post-1800 werewolves. The idea for the conference came when I was working on gender and werewolves in medieval texts. I was struck by the fact that all the werewolves I was looking at were male. As a big fan of Buffy and Ginger Snaps, I knew that there were female werewolves out there… and I thought it was about time people started talking about them.

Since I started planning the conference, there’s been a bit of a female werewolf invasion. A number of new books, TV series and films have appeared. So obviously I wasn’t the only person who noted their absence. As a sister-event to the conference, we’re going to have a discussion panel with some writers who are currently working with female werewolves (and vampires) in their own work, and we’ll be discussing the challenges and attractions of such female monsters.

At the conference itself, we’ll have papers on Terry Pratchett, Angela Carter and contemporary fantasy fiction – of course. But we’ve also got speakers lined up to talk about 1940s cinema, Roman literature and Scottish witchcraft narratives. It’s going to be a fascinating few days.

For information on registration, or to find out more about the event, you can contact Hannah Priest at hannah.priest@manchester.ac.uk

You can also visit the conference’s web site, where you’ll find a registration form and a programme of talks and speakers. Registration for students is £40 and £70 for everyone else. The deadline for getting your form in is 5:00 P.M. Friday, August 6th. If you’re in the area you should go; I know I would! See a summary of the programme after the jump– there’s some pretty cool stuff up for discussion.
Read more…


The Teen Werewolves of San Antonio

Thursday, May 27 2010 – 9:38 AM
Posted by Andrew

Some of you have emailed or tweeted me about this, and I had to think a while about how I was going to post it here. I’ve decided to link to the original article, embed a Youtube mirror of the broadcast, and leave it at that (for now). If I try to summarize this thing I’m going to get my editorial slant all over it, and for once I’d rather not do that. I’ll ask a question instead: would you have been a part of this group in high school?

Here you go: “Teen wolves descend upon San Antonio high schools“, courtesy of KENS 5-TV.


A Brief History of Werewolves in Plastic

Thursday, May 13 2010 – 4:30 PM
Posted by Andrew

Here’s a run-down on werewolf toys and figures on “Idle Hands”, the awesome toy blog of Paul Nomad (who also writes for Dread Central.com). Paul showcases 11 werewolf figures, including Vereticus from Stan Winston’s “Blood Wolves” line, one of the nightmare wolves from “An American Werewolf in London”, and Yellow Submarine’s Howling Wolfinica, which I may or may not have owned in 2002. It’s interesting to see how many different ways the werewolf has been interpreted in plastic (although I think McFarlane should have dialed back the “grotesque” a bit). Check it out!


Are Werewolves Scarier When We Don’t See Them? Or, “A Werewolf in the Mind is Worth Two on the Screen”

Thursday, May 13 2010 – 12:29 AM
Posted by Andrew

I was recently directed to “Wolfman versus Werewolf“, an entry in Roger Ebert’s “Our far-flung correspondents” feature. Gerardo Valero writes what is ostensibly a review of “An American Werewolf in London” (AWIL), but he touches on a larger (and to me, more interesting) conversation about the potency of fear when its subject is imagined or unseen. Valero says that “Landis directs this film [AWIL] with a clear awareness that the things that scare us the most, reside in our imaginations, never just on the screen.” I agree that keeping werewolf David (mostly) hidden from view after his transformation was the right call– it allows the special effects to shine without revealing any zippers, and it makes for a better story. In fact, I think virtually every werewolf movie released since AWIL could have been improved if their makers had handled the screen presence of their lycanthropes in the same way.

First, consider the state of special effects in 1981. Yes, the effects work done by Rick Baker and his crew were so far ahead of their time that they inspired a new awards category at the Oscars. But not being able to see into the future, and with only $10 million to spend on the entire production, Landis had to assume that even Baker’s most realistic efforts to create a fully transformed werewolf, if shown full-body and in decent lighting, would have been read by the audience as “dude in a suit”. Instead of fear, the audience’s reaction would become one of artistic / technical appraisal, and it’s difficult to be scared of a monster when you’re looking for its zippers or rubber claws (or CG equivalents like bad compositing or flat textures).

The decision to limit the werewolf’s screen presence isn’t merely practical. Like Valero says, it’s all about the imagination. By showing only brief closeups and the occasional half-body tracking shot of werewolf David, the AWIL audience gains just enough exposure to trigger the mind into creating something far more ferocious than a costumed actor or an animated prop could represent. This is why even the most amazing combinations of CG and physical effects still fall flat today. Baker’s work on the recent “Wolfman” remake, for example, was amazingly, startlingly detailed… but was it scary? The survey says “no“. Everyone who was even remotely interested in the film knew what the Wolfman looked like well before the film came out, and even those who avoided spoilers got to see the beast in full detail before the first hour of the film was up. The initial shock at the vivid detail wears away, and there’s no suspense anymore, no mystery or fear of the unknown. Those are potent elements of fear, and they are easily lost when too much light is shed on the monster.

Every film tries to tell a story, and most werewolf movies are meant to be horror stories. Sadly, rather than being truly horrific, werewolf movies tend to fall into the schlocky domain of the “creature feature”, in which audience-avatar protagonists are menaced by a monstrous presence. In these movies the monster is only a character insofar as it possesses frightening qualities to highlight its “otherness” and status as a threat. The audience wants a clear look at the foe before it’s destroyed; otherwise there’s no payoff or gratification. Zombies, for example, are usually shown in exquisitely gory detail because there’s nothing there with which to empathize. Even if you can see the humans they once were, zombies aren’t people; they’re merely monsters, and are designed to eat housewives and businessmen until they’re destroyed by flame or a 12-gauge blast. The monsters in creature features might be frightening, but as characters they’re no more engaging than the interchangeable aliens foes in Space Invaders. We can’t identify with them, nor do we want to.

Then there’s David, the protagonist of AWIL. We spend a lot of time getting to know David as a character before the appearance of the werewolf. Much of that getting-to-know-you time is spent with the audience well aware of what’s to come, and we empathize with him. He talks with his friend Jack, he canoodles with a pretty nurse, he loafs around a London flat reading books and watching television… and then the moon rises, Rick Baker works his magic, and David becomes the creature we’re meant to fear.

And we do fear it, but why? How is this scenario more horrific than what Lawrence Talbot or Ginger Fitzgerald faced? Like Valero, I think the answer lies in how the werewolf is portrayed: as a shadowy and unknowable presence, seen only in glimpses and heard as menacing sounds from the dark. Just as David has no memory of what he becomes or what he does while in his bestial form, the audience doesn’t really know what the werewolf looks like, so has no way to associate the monster with the man it used to be. This underscores David’s (and therefore the audience’s) horror of the “other” he becomes. Other than the traumatic transformation scene there’s no screen-based connection between David and the werewolf; to the viewer, David is not just transformed but utterly annihilated. Without clear visuals of the beast he becomes, there’s no easy way to equate the likable mop-haired American with the glimpses of fangs and yellow eyes his victims see before they die. Yet we know it’s him, because our minds tell us so, and from that knowledge and our own empathy for the character, a stronger horror is born than that which is derived from an overexposure to props and effects.

What if Wes Craven’s “Cursed” had been filmed with these points in mind? How about any of the “Howling” sequels, or even the dire non-sequel “An American Werewolf in Paris“? No amount of editing or tweaking would turn these into Oscar material, but I think each one could have been more interesting and enjoyable (and less embarrassing to werewolf fans) if the filmmakers had left their werewolves in the shadows like Landis did with AWIL. By focusing on what makes the werewolf a genuinely frightening creature instead of stretching the effects budget in an effort to shock and amaze, I think the the intrepid filmmaker might actually be able to produce a werewolf film worth watching.


True Blood, Please Don’t Perpetuate the “Rugged Werewolf Hunk” Stereotype. Oops, Too Late!

Thursday, April 22 2010 – 12:14 PM
Posted by Andrew

Let’s play a game! One of the people in this photo is portraying a werewolf. Which one could it be?

I have only one rule when watching network TV: the show I am watching must be Dexter. True Blood fails this test, and now that I’ve seen this photo of Joe Manganiello as werewolf Alcide Herveaux, I’m obliged to report that the show has failed in another, more crucial way: it promotes the ridiculous and insulting “Rugged Werewolf Hunk” stereotype. This is a phenomenon I have just made up, but consider the evidence.

Joe Manganiello was hired to play a werewolf. Here we see him wearing a plaid lumberjack-style shirt. “Put this on,” he was told. “This is what a werewolf wears. Don’t forget to unbutton the top three buttons, to imply a burly man-chest.” Note the carefully sculpted hair and the full (but carefully trimmed) beard. The result is a figure you might recognize from the covers of countless trashy supernatural romance novels: the Rugged Werewolf Hunk. Dangerous… but tender. Manly… but sensitive. This is the best image that marketing people can come up with when they want to make a werewolf attractive to the average woman. You know he smells like Old Spice and leather, and although he’s a beast he’ll never forget your birthday.

This is what they did to poor, poor Joe Manganiello. To be extra-certain that no one would misinterpret his character’s species, someone asked him to stand in front of a painting of a wolf silhouetted by a full moon and put on his best “hunted” expression.

Now where have I seen this before? Oh yes. I have one of these on my shelf.


Werewolf Babysitter on This Week’s “This American Life” Podcast

Monday, April 19 2010 – 2:36 PM
Posted by Andrew

Monday morning’s walk to work is often the best commute of the week for me, courtesy of the This American Life podcast that arrives on my iPod. This week’s episode, Babysitting, begins with a story that had me grinning like an idiot all the way to the office.

Act One. What Big Teeth You Have.

Lots of babysitting is done by family members. Hillary Frank reports on what can happen when a teenaged son is put in charge of his younger brothers. It’s not pretty.

Hint: a full moon and a group of little kids camping in the back field come into play. I can’t recommend This American Life enough, even when it’s not about an 18-year-old traumatizing his little brothers. Check it out.


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