Lack of werewolf in “Rampage” trailer chomps my heart, just like this giant wolf chomps a helicopter

A. Quinton — Nov. 16th 2017

They made a movie about the video game Rampage. That’s right, the one where you take on the role of a giant 8-bit ape, lizard or werewolf and fuck up skyscrapers while tiny helicopters shoot at you. They put Rock “The Dwayne” Johnson in it, playing his usual charming self. They shot it in Vancouver, my home city, and pretended it’s Chicago. They asked Jeffrey Dean Morgan to come along and channel his Walking Dead character in a suit. They just released a trailer that features a Smashing Pumpkins song.

Friends, this whole thing is a casserole I can’t make heads or tails of. The one thing I knew for sure was that I was going to get to see a giant werewolf named Ralph crushing digitally composited office towers on the Vancouver waterfront, and that it was going to be beautiful spectacle. Now my dreams have been dashed, just like a digitally composited office tower on the Vancouver waterfront. There is a wolf, and it is big, but it contains no “were”. He’s not Ralph, the canonical Rampage werewolf. It’s just a giant spiky CG wolf that really hates helicopters.

Oh well.

Thanks to @EvilViergacht for tweeting about this!

  • Ugh. I’d been looking forward to this movie as well. I played the video game quite a bit, and have fond memories of it. This not only looks terrible, it commits the sin of changing the source material. In the game, George is not an actual gorilla grown huge. George is a human who turns into a gorilla. A were-gorilla, it seems, suddenly growing huge, not a gradual ‘heart-string fest’ period of development. And they’re not the right size anyway. The buildings tower over them. The creatures are supposed to be ENORMOUS, but somehow they missed that glaring aspect. And why does it have such a serious tone? The game is tongue-in-cheek. Way to fail at all of it. Did the people who made the movie PLAY the game?

  • lurkingeek

    Dunno about the skyscraper-scale complaint (Rampage monsters always struck me as roughly 70’s Kong-sized), but otherwise Pete & our host have a legit complaint as regards this flick ditching the ‘were-‘ aspect, to say nothing of the downplayed comedy. Further evidence that producers & directors maintain even worse communication issues vis-a-vis game franchises than their usual tenuous connections with lit.