“Underworld: Blood Wars” trailer shows more of the same

A. Quinton — Sep. 7th 2016

The international trailer for “Underworld: Blood Wars” came out today. It features lots of footage from the previous four films in the series, and from the looks of things, a lot of recycled ideas from those films, too.

  • High-stakes, low-investment plot about finally ending the war between vampires and werewolves, for real this time
  • Powerful new villain with long hair
  • Coloured contact lenses and very white teeth
  • Grim pronouncements uttered in aristocratic accents
  • Weightless acrobatic fights
  • Quick cuts away from shadowy CG werewolves
  • Ubiquitous blue filter

The only thing I had no trouble distinguishing from the flashback footage was Kate Beckinsale’s updated appearance as Selene, featuring two-tone hair and a big comfy coat she can deploy as an evasive manoeuvre during combat.

“Underworld: Blood Wars” comes out January 2017. With respect to everyone who worked on this – particularly the technical crews – please, stop. Speaking as a representative of what I have to assume is a primary target demographic, I don’t want this. Nobody I know does. Spend your time and effort elsewhere.