“Underworld: Blood Wars” trailer shows more of the same

A. Quinton — Sep. 7th 2016

underworld-blood-wars-selene

The international trailer for “Underworld: Blood Wars” came out today. It features lots of footage from the previous four films in the series, and from the looks of things, a lot of recycled ideas from those films, too.

  • High-stakes, low-investment plot about finally ending the war between vampires and werewolves, for real this time
  • Powerful new villain with long hair
  • Coloured contact lenses and very white teeth
  • Grim pronouncements uttered in aristocratic accents
  • Weightless acrobatic fights
  • Quick cuts away from shadowy CG werewolves
  • Ubiquitous blue filter over everything

The only thing I had no trouble distinguishing from the flashback footage was Kate Beckinsale’s updated appearance as Selene, featuring two-tone hair and a big comfy coat she can deploy as an evasive manoeuvre during combat.

“Underworld: Blood Wars” comes out January 2017. With respect to everyone who worked on this – particularly the technical crews – please, stop. Speaking as a representative of what I have to assume is a primary target demographic, I don’t want this. Nobody I know does. Spend your time and effort elsewhere.

  • Hmm, really liked the first one, the werewolf designs in it are still some of my favourites. But your right it needs something more now, an update or an end, either way.

  • Hooded Justice

    After seeing Awakening in theaters (in 3-D, no less), I gave myself permission to skip any further entries in this series. This trailer has not altered my position one iota.

  • Sykes

    I quite enjoyed the first one back in the day, but they go downhill pretty quickly. (Mostly due to the feeling of repetition.) I skipped the last one and will do the same here.

  • Dziban Molniya

    “With respect to everyone who worked on this – particularly the technical crews – please, stop.”

    Speaking as someone in the technical side of the industry (who, it must be disclaimed, has never worked on one of these Underworld films), nobody really cares what the picture is. We just want a paycheck. Sure, it’s great when the production is something one is personally interested in (in my case, Jurassic World), but I’ll just as happily work on something about which I care not a fig (again in my case, Astronaut Wives Club).

    If I were to be offered a gig working on Underworld Part 13, I’d smile, die a little inside, and take the job. Folks in the film business often can’t be choosy: if you don’t take a gig, there’s no guarantee something else will be right around the corner. So then you’re on unemployment, waiting tables, or (groan) working on commercials.

    So your concerns about this turd of a movie shouldn’t be addressed to the people who actually work for a living, but rather to the studio execs, who’ll continue to beat the remains of a horse when it’s been reduced to dust and bones for decades (“Every Last Drop™”!)

  • “If I were to be offered a gig working on Underworld Part 13, I’d smile, die a little inside, and take the job.”

    Hence my respect! I’ve built a lot of web sites for people and projects I didn’t care about, or that I did care about but that flopped. Whether the captain is a genius or a drunk idiot, it’s just as much work pulling the oars.