CS-UGH (in which I get cranky about werewolves on TV)

A. Quinton — Aug. 9th 2010

Oh good, CSI creator/writer Anthony Zuiker just told Deadline that they’re planning an episode for the original, Vegas-based show “about a vampire and werewolf convention”. You can tell he’s on a real creative roll because in the same paragraph he mentions Justin Bieber and a shark in a swimming pool. This is going to be fucking great. I’ll have to make room for that on my DVR, along with all those episodes of “The Gates” and “Vampire Diaries” I’m watching while I BeDazzle another “Team Jacob” t-shirt to sell on Etsy. Seriously, get Rob Zombie to direct that CSI episode or don’t even bother squeezing Laurence into that suit.

Won’t someone please bring werewolves to North American prime time TV in a way that celebrates and enjoys the horror roots of the monster? The closest thing to a horror werewolf we’ve got on TV right now is a show about a serial killer / lab geek in the Miami Metro Police Department. I love you, Dex, but I’d love you even more if you were all about fur and claws instead of rubber aprons and bone saws.

I’m cranky. I’m going to have some tea and listen to some old Mighty Boosh radio shows.

  • Michael

    Are there vampire/werewolf conventions? I know there are horror conventions but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of specifically themed vampire/werewolf conventions. There might be Twilight conventions (*shudder*), but that should hardly count since there aren’t any vampires or werewolves in those books. At all. Ever.
    (Think for a moment about the fact that a generation is going to grow up with Twilight as their entire basis for what they think vampires and werewolves are. It’s okay, I cried too.)

    Given CSI’s past attempts at depicting subcultures, expect to see a lot of kids in cheap Dracula capes, claiming to be “real” vampires and guys who claim that “real” werewolves don’t actually transform but merely embrace their “inner wolf.” Either that, or it’s going to be a bunch of kids wearing glitter paint and cute fuzzy tails.

    I know that CSI’s target audience is middle-aged housewives whose understanding of pop culture is vague and confused, but that’s no excuse for not doing a little research and getting things right. These kind of people are the reason that half of America’s parents still think that D&D will turn your kids into satanic, robe-wearing psychopaths, and video games can put a gun in a kid’s hand and train him how to shoot people with it, because real guns are aimed with thumbsticks and fired with the shoulder button.

  • Viergacht

    So does Beiber jump over the shark in the pool, or what?