Today is Election Day in the United States. I’m Canadian, but my significant other is American, so I can still say that we voted for Barack Obama. Aside from being the best candidate for the job, Obama has established a clear pro-lycanthrope record. On the other hand, John McCain has gone out of his way to spite the werewolf community by choosing some kind of a vampire-harpy creature as a running mate.

Among Obama’s werewolf-centric initiatives:

• A minimum of one full moon every week.
• Private transformation booths to be installed at all national and city parks.
• An annual clothing expense rebate of up to $1,000 to cover the cost of clothing ripped, shredded or otherwise destroyed during a transformation. Receipts required.
• A ban on the import or sale of all silver artifacts, with the exception of wolfshead cane toppers.
• A reduction in wages and support infrastructure for dog catchers and animal control workers.

So remember, folks, a vote for Obama is a vote for Werewolf Rights. So get out there and vote!