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A. Quinton — Nov. 4th 2008
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Today is Election Day in the United States. I’m Canadian, but my significant other is American, so I can still say that we voted for Barack Obama. Aside from being the best candidate for the job, Obama has established a clear pro-lycanthrope record. On the other hand, John McCain has gone out of his way to spite the werewolf community by choosing some kind of a vampire-harpy creature as a running mate.
Among Obama’s werewolf-centric initiatives:
- A minimum of one full moon every week.
- Private transformation booths to be installed at all national and city parks.
- An annual clothing expense rebate of up to $1,000 to cover the cost of clothing ripped, shredded or otherwise destroyed during a transformation. Receipts required.
- A ban on the import or sale of all silver artifacts, with the exception of wolfshead cane toppers.
- A reduction in wages and support infrastructure for dog catchers and animal control workers.
So remember, folks, a vote for Obama is a vote for Werewolf Rights. So get out there and vote!