A. Quinton — Mar. 1st 2016
I saw part of a commercial for Little Dead Rotting Hood in January and managed to forget about it until this morning, when I was updating the werewolf movie list. This is an Asylum release so don’t get your hopes up – I just watched the trailer and it was putrid.
- A woman stumbles through the foggy moonlit woods, pursued by the stock “snarling” sound effects that came on a Sound Blaster demo CD and what IMDB reassures me are real wolves.
- A townie (who seems to think they’re in a Scooby-Doo episode) says that someone got killed down by “the Old Wolf Lady’s place”.
- A wise cop tells a roomful of her panicked colleagues that they “are dealing with a new breed of wolves”. The camera cuts away before anyone can say “jinkies”.
- Eric Balfour looks incredulous, like he hit his head on the seafloor while surfing and he expects to wake up from this nightmare production at any moment.
- A huge CG werewolf that looks like a custom Unreal Tournament 2004 model.
The worst part was this voiceover:
“big” okay TEETH come on hurry UP
“teeth” you’ve dragged this out over 10 seconds already if you don’t end it with anything other than ‘you have’ I’m going to cut my own head off
“you have” goodbye forever