Werewolf News

If I walked into any mall videogame store and and saw this game for sale, I would probably just stare at it for five or so minutes, then get my bearings and think that only five seconds had gone by. Then my imagination would probably force me to imagine some ridiculously hot dialogue between the girl and these wolves, which would probably be inappropriate to place here. But since I can’t help but provide a dialogue for this piece, I’ve restrained myself enough to come up with something innocent enough:

Girl: “Ha! I got the base! Looks like I get a free turn! Try to find me AGAIN!”

Wolf 1: “That’s not the base! You said the oak tree by the castle was base!”

Girl: “This IS the oak tree by the castle, Tyler.”

Wolf 2: “That’s an elm tree, actually.”

Girl: “Really? Well, I said that he leaning oak tree by the castle was base, and this is the only leaning tree anywhere, so it’s base. Why split hairs?”

Wolf 3: “It’s not splitting hairs. There’s a big difference between oak and elm trees!”

Girl: “Greg, actually, I don’t think there are any oak trees in this forest to begin with, so if you use some grade-school deduction, you’d know that this is the only LEANING tree around, and so it’s base.”

Wolf 1: “But you said before we started that base was an oak tree!”

Girl: “Tyler, are you a botanist all of a sudden?”

Wolf 1: “No, but…”

Girl: “Who care what kind of tree? What’s the distinction? Would you make a distinction between, oh, otter crap and beaver crap?”

Wolf 2: “Yes, actually. And now you’re just being offensive!”

Girl: “Ugh, I can’t even play Battleship with you guys without you doing something like this! I got base, so you have to count again!”

Wolf 3: “You can sink my battleship any day, hur hur hur!”

Girl: “Greg shut UP!”